Amy Gleaves was sitting by herself at the edge of a pool on a cruise when a third grader wandered over and told her she liked her swimsuit. They talked for about thirty minutes. Chocolate or vanilla, buffet or restaurant, how annoying her brother was. Then the girl said, “I’m really sorry. I know I talk way too much.”
Amy told her she didn’t. The girl’s face changed, and the conversation kept going.
The girl who talked too much
The moment stuck with Amy because she was that girl. Her report cards were great, and every one came with a handwritten note from the teacher saying she talked too much. There’s a home video where someone in the background says it too. Now she coaches people for a living, which means she talks all day, and she loves it.
What people are telling you when they say it
Too loud. Too emotional. Too opinionated. Too independent. Too many questions. Amy has heard all of them, and she’s heard “too happy” too. She says the label usually tells you what the other person can handle. She spent years believing she was too emotional before she saw that the people saying it were the ones who avoided emotion.
The gift inside it
Amy asks more questions than most people. She’ll stand in a coffee shop and ask how the coffee machine works, with no plan to ever become a barista. She says that curiosity has gotten her as far as she’s gotten. Her point is that whatever you’re told you’re too much of is probably pointing at something you’re meant to do, because the thing that excites you is usually the thing you do a little too much of.
Use this today
Write down the “too” someone has said to you most often. Next to it, write one place that trait has helped you or someone else in the last month. Keep the list where you can see it.
