We live in a world that constantly tells us what success should look like—what we should strive for, how fast we should get there, and who we should become along the way. But here’s the truth: not every goal is meant for you.
Some goals are inherited from past versions of yourself. Others are borrowed from people you love or want to impress. And sometimes, what you think is motivation is actually pressure wearing a pretty mask.
As a life coach, one of the most important things I help clients do is this: get clear on the why behind their goals, because when your goals are truly yours, they energize you, not drain you. They reflect your values, your growth, and the future version of yourself you’re working toward.
So, how can you tell the difference?
Let’s talk about it.
Red Flags That a Goal Isn’t Yours
Before you go chasing a goal that isn’t aligned with who you are today, pause and check in. If you’re experiencing any of these, it might be a sign your goal needs a closer look:
- You feel disconnected from it. You’re not excited—you’re just checking boxes.
- It feels heavy or guilt-driven. You’re pursuing it because you should, not because you want to.
- It’s rooted in who you used to be. Your priorities have shifted, but the goal hasn’t caught up.
- You’re doing it for someone else. Whether it’s to gain approval or avoid conflict, you’re not doing it for you.
- You keep procrastinating. Not because you’re lazy, but because deep down, something isn’t sitting right.
Let’s be honest—those red flags don’t mean you’re broken. They just mean it’s time to realign.
Journal Prompts to Reclaim Alignment
Grab your journal or open a note on your phone—this is your space to get honest with yourself.
- Why do I want this goal?
- What would achieving this goal help me feel or become?
- Is this something I would still want if no one ever saw me do it?
- Am I trying to prove something to someone?
- What does the aligned version of me really want right now?
When your goals are aligned with the person you’re becoming, not the version of you that needed to survive, impress, or belong, they start to feel different. They carry momentum instead of pressure.
What Aligned Goals Actually Feel Like
Amy often says that aligned goals give you energy. You don’t need hype to chase them—they call you forward. Here’s what that might look like:
- Clarity – You’re not confused about why it matters to you.
- Excitement – Even when it’s hard, you feel connected to the process.
- Sustainability – You can take consistent, small steps without burning out.
- Expansion – It makes you feel like you’re growing into the next version of yourself.
- Self-Trust – You’re not hustling for worthiness. You already know you’re enough.
Remember: goals aren’t just tasks—they’re reflections of identity. You’re not just checking boxes, you’re shaping who you’re becoming.
What to Do If a Goal No Longer Fits
First of all, give yourself permission to change your mind. That’s growth, not failure.
If a goal no longer aligns, try this:
- Pause and reflect. Don’t push through misalignment just to “finish.”
- Update your goal. Tweak it to reflect your current values or priorities.
- Release it with grace. Letting go of a goal doesn’t mean you’re quitting—it means you’re choosing intentionally.
- Set something new. Think about what you need now, not what made sense six months ago.
The goal isn’t to be who you’ve always been. It’s to become who you’re meant to be.
The Bottom Line
You deserve goals that reflect who you are today, not who others expect you to be. Let go of what no longer fits and make space for what truly matters.
Because when you’re aligned, you move differently.
You don’t just chase goals—you grow into them.
You don’t just strive—you expand.
And you don’t just check boxes—you create a life that feels like yours.
If you’re ready to set aligned goals and build a life that reflects your true self, my Purpose Filled Life Program is here to support you. Let’s walk through this together. You’re not behind—you’re just getting clear.
