Let’s be real: I spent years trying to be the “nice” girl.
I thought if I was nice enough, agreeable enough, quiet enough, I’d get what I wanted—respect, opportunity, peace. But the truth? Nice nearly broke me.
Because nice wasn’t actually kind.
Nice was people-pleasing. Nice was staying silent. Nice was me saying “sure!” when my gut was screaming “no.”
Nice is just another word for agreeable, and agreement isn’t always peace.
We’re taught to associate “nice” with being a good person. A good employee. A good partner. A good friend. But nice often came at the expense of my truth. And that wasn’t good for anyone, least of all, me.
When I started setting boundaries in my life and business, I had to unlearn the need to be liked. That meant saying “no” without a 10-minute explanation. It meant protecting my peace even if it made someone uncomfortable. And it meant understanding the difference between kindness and niceness.
Here’s what I realized:
Nice doesn’t have boundaries. Kindness does.
Kindness says, “I see you. I respect you. But I also respect myself.”
Niceness says, “I’ll shrink so you feel comfortable. I’ll agree so you like me.”
See the difference?
Being kind means I care. Being kind means I also say no when I need to.
When I started shifting from nice to kind, my business changed. I stopped over-delivering out of guilt. I stopped under-charging. I stopped taking on clients who weren’t aligned just to “help.”
And you know what happened?
My business grew. My clarity came back. My confidence returned.
Because I wasn’t abandoning myself for approval anymore.
“Taking ‘nice’ out of your personality will propel you. Be kind, not nice.”
This shift didn’t just change my business—it changed my life. I began to ask myself:
- Is this decision aligned with my values?
- Am I saying yes because I mean it, or because I’m afraid of being misunderstood?
- Where am I giving my time and energy to people who haven’t earned it?
That last one? Whew. That one stung.
But it also set me free.
Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re clarity.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that saying no is rude. That being direct is cold. That protecting your energy is selfish.
It’s not.
You don’t have to be unkind to be clear. In fact, the kindest thing you can do—for yourself and for others is to be honest about your needs, your capacity, and your values.
And no, this doesn’t mean cutting everyone off or going full savage mode. It means showing up in a way that’s authentic, aligned, and sustainable. For you.
Here’s a truth that changed everything for me:
I always wanted to be the nice girl. What I didn’t realize was, nice came at the expense of my truth.
And I’m done sacrificing that.
So if you’ve been wrestling with boundaries…
If you’ve been called “too much” or “too sensitive” or “not a team player”…
If you’ve felt exhausted trying to please everyone but yourself—
This is your permission slip to drop “nice” and step into kind.
Kind is clear.
Kind is powerful.
Kind is a boundary with a heart behind it.
You deserve that kind of life.
And it starts when you stop performing, and start honoring your truth.
Want more support in setting boundaries and reclaiming your voice?
This is what we do inside the Purposeful Life Group Coaching Program.
We spend an entire month on boundaries—and what it means to lead your life from alignment, not obligation.
Learn more about the program here.
